Finding myself

I wrote this on Wednesday afternoon.

I am so sick of doing my assignment. It is only due on Monday but I really want to get on with it. At the moment, I have nothing else to do except doing this super-hard assignment. I bet there is going to be one assignment next week and it is going to be 20% assignment. Now that I mention about assignments, between my geology and stats paper, only stats has assignments. There are no assignments for geology.

I was reading a friend’s blog about how she was trying to find her place in kiwiland. It is really interesting to know people’s point of view especially they are also from my country. She struggles to speak proper English and speaking the slang here. Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I couldn’t say I belong to Malaysian group because I don’t really know what to talk to them and I cannot speak my mother tongue language properly. I can’t say I belong to kiwi group because I am starting to pick up Malaysian slang and they definitely will not understand what I am talking. I feel like I am being thrown in the middle. I went to the CMSA bbq the other day and oh man.. I feel like an outsider there. Seriously, that is how I felt. I don’t think anything you said will make me feel better. Maybe I am so conscious of what people think of me. Where is my don’t-care-attitude when I need it?